And he looked around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart Mark 3:5
And he said to them, “Do you not understand this parable? How then will you understand all the parables? Mark 4:13
As I’ve been reflecting on what it means to truly follow Christ, these two verses got stuck in my head. It seems one factor that may keep me from following Christ is a hard heart.
Hard heart seems so harsh doesn’t it? Maybe that’s why I usually skim over these verses. But it also seems there are 2 kinds of hard hearts.
- The type the Pharisees had which at times I can also possess. That of seeing life in light of the rules and regulations instead of in light of our Savior
- The type the disciples had which at times I can also possess. That of trying to understand Jesus in light of their own experience and understanding.
And others are the ones sown among thorns. They are those who hear the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it proves unfruitful. Mark 4:18-19
See, sometimes following Jesus is impeded by our hardness of heart. By us trying to understand Jesus in light of our own experience or our own man-made rules. And sometimes the cares of the world and our own desires for other things choke out that desire for Christ and the result is definitely unfruitful. Unfruitful would not be the definition of a fisher of men. Fisher of men seems to be a good indication that one is truly following Christ.
All that to say, my prayers are spent in confession and repentance as well as asking the Holy Spirit to give me his eyes so that I can live my life for his glory instead of in my own self-made bubble that FEELS as if I’m living for his glory. Does the difference between the two make sense?
I guess every week I come back saying the same thing. God continues to make clear to me how to better submit myself to Him. This week He’s asking me to submit my heart. The part I didn’t even know was hard.
Goals:
- Spending some additional time throughout the day with Jesus. It seems its really easy to make myself the head of my day instead of leaving Christ as the head of my day. Set times throughout the day seem to help me stay submitted. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so hard headed and didn’t need so much structure to keep me submitted to the one who truly is in control.
- Still reading Twelve Ordinary Men. Didn’t get as much read this week. Going to try to get most of the way through it this weekend.
- Morning workouts and personal worship time are still going well. I’ve been lazy the past 2 Fridays because its Brent’s day off. I’m not going to be lazy this Friday though =) And I made it 5 miles this morning!! YAY for a good running partner who tells me funny stories so I can forget that I’m running.
